3 key ways to start your deconditioning process
From the moment we are born, we are conditioned by our loved ones, our friends and families, our school teachers, and football coaches, and by our communities and workplaces. We also condition ourselves so we can be what others expect us to be. It is as if we are an onion with a core that keeps getting layers on the outer surface. The layers on the onion equal the conditioning of us human beings.
I believe that every parent and caretaker does the very best they can for their children with what inner resources are available. Still, many parents raise their children thinking that their child is a copy of them. Me including. I am a projector who raised one of my girls as a projector even though she is a generator type. No wonder we never got the bedtime routine to work out for either one of us.
At some point in our lives, we start to sense that the conditioned layers we now have are doing more harm than good. We might start to sense that the life we are living is not in alignment with what we want to do and be.
I had to redefine what was success in my life after a massive burnout. Human Design came into my life by chance and I sought advice from a Human Design mentor who helped me decipher my chart. My process of deconditioning could start, and I slowly peeled off the unhealthy layers I held on to. Letting go can be very painful because somehow it feels safer to hold on to something familiar even though it is not doing any good, rather than releasing and giving room for something new.
Integrating your Human Design chart and beginning your deconditioning process involves recognizing where you've been living out of alignment with your true nature and releasing societal, familial, and personal conditioning. In this process, permit yourself to release, to feel the feels, to have your focus inwards more than outwards, and to follow the clues that resonate with you.
Here are three key ways to start your decondition process:
1. Follow Your Strategy
Each Human Design Type has a unique strategy that reflects how you are designed to interact with the world around you to live in a state of flow.
Manifestor’s strategy: Inform Before Acting
If you are a Manifestor, your strategy is to inform and ask for information before acting. Manifestors have a powerful initiating energy but can face resistance if they act without informing others.
This is how you as a Manifestor use your strategy:
Before taking action, let key people around you know what you’re about to do. This helps ease friction and allows smoother execution.
Generator Strategy: Wait to Respond
If you are a Generator, your strategy is to respond, not force things. You have a powerful Sacral Center, which gives you consistent energy, but you are not designed to initiate from the mind. Instead, you will thrive when you respond to life rather than forcing things. Wait for something to spark your gut response.
This is how you as a Generator use your strategy:
First, you wait for something external to respond to. That can be a question, an opportunity, a conversation, or a gut feeling triggered by an event.
Second, you tune into your Sacral response. Does it feel like an excited "yes" which you sense like an expansion or energy or a "no" which can trigger frustration and heaviness?
Third, take action when your gut says yes, and avoid saying yes to things that drain you, even if they seem logical.
Manifesting Generator’s strategy: Respond, Then Inform, and Skip Steps Efficiently
If you are a Manifesting Generator, you have the Generator's core strategy of waiting to respond but also Manifestor energy that allows you to act quickly.
This is how you as a Manifesting Generator use your strategy:
Start by waiting for something external to respond to, rather than initiating from the mind. This can be a sign or an opportunity that arises.
Visualize and feel into how this would be for you if you say either yes or no.
Once you're clear, inform others if necessary and take action.
Trust your efficiency, because as a Manifesting Generator, you often skip steps in a way that still works!
Projector’s strategy: Wait for the Invitation
If you are born into this world as a Projector, you thrive when your wisdom and guidance are recognized and invited rather than forced on others.
This is how you as a Projector use your strategy:
Focus on mastering your craft and sharing insights without pushing them on others. When you're recognized for your gifts, you'll receive invitations that align with your success.
Reflector’s strategy: Wait a Lunar Cycle for Clarity
As a Reflector, you are deeply influenced by your environment and you need time to process decisions.
This is how you as a Reflector use your strategy:
For any big decision, give yourself a full lunar cycle of 28 days to observe how you feel over time. Surround yourself with the right people and environments, because your energy reflects those around you.
2. Listen to Your Inner Authority
Your Inner Authority is your decision-making compass, guiding you to choices that align with your true self.
Emotional Authority (Solar Plexus): “Ride the Wave”
Emotions come in waves: highs, lows, and in-between. Clarity comes over time, not in the moment.
Never make big decisions impulsively, but wait for emotional clarity after the wave settles.
Sacral Authority: “Gut Response”
A yes feels like excitement, expansion, or a full-bodied “uh-huh.” A no feels like heaviness, contraction, or “uh-uh.”
Listen to your body’s immediate response (not your mind). Pay attention to sounds or movements, because your gut responds instinctively.
Splenic Authority: “Instant Intuition”
A whisper-like instinct or sudden knowing. It’s quick and won’t repeat itself. If you miss it, your mind may take over.
Trust your first instinct, even if it doesn’t seem logical.
Ego Authority: “Heart-Driven Decisions”
Decisions are driven by desire and willpower; when it’s right, you feel an inner pull. If it’s not aligned, you feel no motivation or energy toward it.
Ask: Do I really want this? If your heart isn’t in it, don’t force it. But if it makes your heart sing, go for it!
Self-Projected Authority: “Authentic Expression”
Truth comes through talking things out; your voice carries your clarity. You feel energized when speaking about what’s right for you.
Speak your thoughts aloud to trusted people and listen to how it sounds. Your tone reveals your truth.
Mental/Environment Authority: “External Clarity”
Clarity comes from being in the right environment and talking with others. You don’t have a consistent internal decision-making process.
Surround yourself with supportive people and observe how you feel in different places before making a choice. Talk your decisions through and you will through your voice discover what choice resonates with you.
Lunar Authority: “Wait a Full Cycle”
Decisions shift depending on the people and places around you. Clarity comes gradually over a 28-day lunar cycle.
Give yourself time and observe how you feel throughout a full month before committing.
When you embark on your deconditioning process, observe and pay attention to when you're making decisions based on pressure, fear, or mental logic rather than your Inner Authority.
Each authority works differently, so trust your unique process!
3. Observe Your Not-Self Theme
Each Human Design Type has a "Not-Self" theme that signals you're out of alignment with your true nature. This theme can act as a hint that conditioning is at play. Observe it without judging.
Manifestor’s Not-Self theme: Anger
As a Manifestor you are meant to move freely and initiate, but when you feel controlled, blocked, or unrecognized, you might experience anger.
Signs that are an indication of a not-self creeping up on you, can be feelings of restriction, that you feel ignored, or that you are forced to explain yourself too much.
The solution is to inform before acting and embrace your natural urge to initiate.
Generator’s Not-Self theme: Frustration
If you are a Generator, you will thrive when doing what you love, but frustration arises when you force things or commit to things that don’t excite you.
Signs that are an indication of not-self: Feeling stuck, drained, or doing things out of obligation rather than desire.
The solution is to wait to respond to what excites your sacral energy and learn to say no to things that feel wrong.
Manifesting Generator’s Not-Self theme: Frustration and Anger
As a Manifesting Generator, you can experience frustration when you commit to the wrong things and anger when you feel restricted in your fast-moving energy.
Signs that are an indication of not-self: Feeling slowed down, impatient, or boxed into commitments that don’t align.
The solution is to trust your sacral response, inform others, and allow yourself to pivot when something no longer excites you.
Projector’s Not-Self theme: Bitterness
As a Projector, you are meant to be recognized and invited, but when you instead force your wisdom on others or do not receive any recognition, you might instead end up feeling bitter.
Signs that your not-self is sneaking into your life: Feeling unappreciated, exhausted from trying to keep up with the other energy types, or being ignored.
The solution is to wait for invitations, rest when needed, and focus on what you love rather than forcing recognition.
Reflector’s Not-Self theme: Disappointment
If you are a Reflector, you will be deeply connected to your environment. And that means that when you are in the wrong place or surrounded by the wrong people, you might feel disappointed.
Signs that you are in your Not-Self: Feeling let down by others, disillusionment, or out of sync with life.
Solution: Give yourself time, preferably a full lunar cycle of 28 days if possible to make big decisions, and surround yourself with people and places that feel good.
When you are in the process of deconditioning, pay attention to emotions like frustration, anger, or bitterness as they indicate you're acting against your design. Instead of forcing things, step back and realign with your natural flow.
Always have in mind that we are human beings who wake up every morning with free will, so even if we have a recipe for how to act and interact, we are allowed, yes, even encouraged, to let life unfold. Even if it means that we do not follow our strategy and inner authority throughout the day.
Stay curious and be kind to yourself in the deconditioning process.
Would you like help interpreting your chart for a more tailored deconditioning process? Click the button below if I can be any help in your process.
